Think About Your Thinking!

When I was a kid, I worried. A LOT.  I have quite an active imagination and at times I would let it get the best of me. I worried about what happened throughout the day, what was happening at that current moment, and would could potentially happen in the future.  Worrying caused me to second-guess myself quite often and hinder me in many ways.

In addition to worrying, as an adolescent, I simply had a lot of wrong thinking.  I believed any and all lies that popped into my head.  If I thought something out of the ordinary, sinful, or scandalous, I automatically thought it was my fault.

Thankfully, two things happened to help me get my mind right:

1. I heard my childhood pastor’s wife preach a message based out of 2 Corinthians 10:4&5.

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds,  casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

Before her sermon, I never knew that I had the ability to make thoughts go away.  I never realized that I could control them or that I could command them to become obedient to Christ and God’s word.

2. I read The Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer.  In the book, Joyce uncovered all kinds of wrong thinking patterns and how to overcome them by combatting them with the word of God. I learned how to pay attention to my thinking and become an “active” thinker instead of a “passive” one, accepting any thought that came into my head. Reading the book completely changed how I thought, and I still use tactics from that book to this day.

With much time and practice, I was able to change my mindset and have peace of mind.

Lesson learned: I don’t have to accept every thought that comes to mind.

Let God Be Your Safety Net

My early years of life were consumed by “what-ifs?”  I found myself deep in worry and despair over events that had not even occurred. I just created them in my mind.  When I look back and think of all of the minutes, hours, and days spent worrying, I wish that I would have filled the time doing something more productive.

What-if-ing and worrying were a coping mechanism.  I had been let down, mistreated, and disappointed too many times as a child and adolescent.  Tired of being let down, I would come up with the worst case scenarios, so that if push came to shove, I would not be too upset because I had already prepared for the worst.  Having this outlook on life caused me to become extremely distrustful, fearful and pessimistic.  And, since it was guys who seemed to continually disappoint and mistreat me, I was unnecessarily guarded toward the opposite sex.

In my mid-twenties, I decided I was tired of living this way and began making steps toward inner peace and healing.  During this journey, my cousin used to encourage me to let go of my hurt and my past by saying, “Kelli, let God be your safety net.”  Slowly, I caught a revelation that God was truly for me.  Not only was He (and still is) for me, but He was guarding, protecting and keeping me.

Each day I began to realize and eventually confess, “They can’t hurt me anymore.” I cannot even begin to express the amount of freedom I had when I could go out in public and not fear the worst would happen to me. The freedom I felt when I could look at individuals and not expect them to have ulterior motives. The freedom I discovered to be me, unguarded.

When we choose to stop guarding ourselves, we find that we have the ultimate protection in God our Father.

Lesson Learned: God is my safety net; all I have to do is let go.

Everything IS NOT For Me!

Some of the wisest words my cousin ever gave me were, “Everything is not for me!”  It was something I would hear her say a lot in passing, but once I finally caught the reality of this statement, it began to make much sense.

In coming to terms with rejection, one must realize, indeed, everything is not meant for everybody. Every relationship, invitation, job, etc. is not for everyone. We are all unique with individual needs, and quite frankly, we cannot be a part of everything.  We have to come to grips that God has plans laid out for us to our benefit, and every opportunity cannot be a part of that plan.

So now, when a job situation or relationship does not work the way I intended, I breathe a sigh of relief and say to myself, “Oh well. Everything is not for me!”

Lesson learned: Everything is not meant for everybody.

Coming Soon!

The Ice Cream Parable

One evening at dinner during my freshman year of college, an upperclassman began to share some wisdom with me, in what I like to call “The Parable of the Ice Cream.”

“Often times in life,” she explained, “Christians sit in a cafeteria much like this one, earnestly praying every day for ice cream. ‘Oh Lord,’ they beg for days, weeks, and months at a time, ‘please grant us a bowl of ice cream.  If it is Your will, please have a heaping bowl of ice cream come across my table.’”

“Meanwhile,” she continued, “the ice cream machine, toppings, the bowl, and spoons have been made readily available.  If they would just take a look at their surroundings, they would see that everything they want and more is already there.  All they have to do is get up and access what has been provided.”

Twelve years later, this tale still resonates in my heart. While my friend told this story in jest, I found some truth in it that has helped me throughout the years.

Many times as Christians, we are praying, fasting, and believing for things, when all the while God is saying, “Take a look around. What are you doing with what I have already given you?” Much like in The Parable of the Talents, we have all been given a measure.  The question is, are we making the most with what has been granted to us, or are we burying it in the ground and ignoring it?

Lesson Learned: Make the most with what has been given.

Coming Soon!

When I Eat An Elephant...

I absolutely love my godparents.  Since most of my blood relatives live an hour away or out-of-state, I have always liked living near my godparents and feeling as though I had some sort of family that was close by.
One day, in my mid-twenties, I stopped by for a quick visit, and my godfather, who is quite the character, randomly asked me, “How do you eat an elephant?”  Confused as to why someone would even want to eat an elephant, I feebly mumbled the most logical answer I could come up with, “Uhhh, one piece at a time???” “EXACTLY,” he proclaimed, “You’re a smart girl!”

Essentially what he was trying to say was a MAJOR lesson I had to learn in my twenties -- big tasks aren’t successfully tackled in one night, but rather through overcoming one piece at a time.

In my teens and twenties, I over committed myself to clubs, extracurriculars, activities and the like.  My zeal for wanting to make the world around me a better place often left me feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and stressed out.  I became so accustomed to living like this, I would allot myself 3 to 4 mini-nervous breakdowns a year, as though it was normal.

After a series of unfortunate events, I decided that I was tired of trying to take on everything.  I learned to say “no” to individuals and invitations and also to make time in my busy schedule for myself.

Something that I have to constantly remind myself of is that “slow and steady wins the race.”  As a full-time teacher, committed member of my church, and participant in a dance company, my free time is limited and valuable.  I have to make the most of each and every opportunity that is given to me and work on big tasks in small pieces at a time.

So, instead of blocking out 8 hours to sit down and write a paper (as I often did in undergrad), I have found that when filling out applications and writing grants, I need to break my writing into sections and work for 30 minutes at a time over several days.  Instead of sitting down to read for 3-4 hours uninterrupted, I now read for short stints at a time, for instance during meals, before bed, or on reading days at school.

We are all given 24 hours in a day.  But thankfully we don’t have to solve all of man’s problems within that short time span.  Each day is another opportunity to faithfully tinker away at what we have been entrusted with; with diligence, dedication and time, we will have finally created a masterpiece.

Lesson Learned: A little bit goes a long way.